omg at this

Blaminator

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Jul 11, 2003
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Shard said:
Oldest thing I read in a while =/
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Turin

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Mar 21, 2004
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Hahahahahahah

I agree with Mr. Gibbons completely. When my son went to college in another state, I bought him a brand new Gateway computer, built by honest, God-fearing Americans. In two months time, I recieved a phone call from the campus authorities notifying me that my son had been caught in the act of downloading pornographic images of foreign women using a hacker program called Morpheus. It should also be noted that Morpheus is the name of a famous hacker in one of the most famous hacker movies of all time, The Matrix. Is there a coincidence? This hacking Morpheus program allows hackers to connect to each other using their computers and distribute illegal material such as pornography, stolen MP3s, illegal tapings of newly released films, hacker-compromised versions of common software such as Adobe Photoshop and Instant Messager, which serves as a substitute to face-to-face interaction between hackers. Fortunately, the people inside the record industry have put an end to the use of this one hacker program, but who is to say there are not a hundred more to take its place? The hackers then use the items they have collected from Morpheus to attempt larger, more complex hacking of larger, more important systems, sometimes with the intent of bringing business to a halt with denial-of-service attacks. How is closing down business using a computer any different than using four commercial jet? How are hackers any different than terrorists? There is something else to this evil terrorist/hacker hypothesis. Terrorists in the Middle East may be using hackers here in America, our own sons and daughters, to serve their evil purpose of the destruction of the American Way! We all have heard on the news of a possible way that Osama bin Laden uses electronic pictures called JPEGs to transmit codes to his operatives worldwide. The terrorists would have to use some form of decoding the messages as to know where to attack us next. How would a terrorist, living in a cave or basic city apartment as the ones that attacked the World Trade Center, know how to use the techniques involved to decode messages? To say that the terrorists decode their own messages is yet another Communist pro-Clinton lie. There is only one other plausible way for these messages to be decoded, and that is using our own computers fitted with hacker and ex-Soviet technology! It is a fact that Osama bin Laden fought the Soviets in Afghanistan during the 1980s using American help. In the defeat of the Red Army, Praise The Lord, bin Laden must have acquired some of their technology, most importantly the Communist operating system Lunix. They integrated Lunix into stolen American computers and spread it to young, impressionable computer users. With the supposed simplicity of Lunix, these young people were brainwashed to subconsciously help the terrorists decode the secret messages and pass it along to those who do the Godless deeds. It all makes perfect and clear sense. So, it is doubly important in this time of war to identify those who are hackers and save those that are going down the dark, winding path to terrorism. Furthermore, we should ask George W. Bush, who also is a God-fearing man, to help the people end hacking before another terrible attack like September 11 is allowed to take place.

*walks off laughing* hahaaaaa :'D

(btw post was made over 4 years ago I think).
 

AtomSlap

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Jul 19, 2006
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yer, i read that around xmas time i think, but if you carry on to some pages onwards i think it says that it was just a joke.

if this is true, they will be millionaires, they will replace te old TV Show "The Brady Bunch"

son: "well gosh dad, this is neato class-mate in school who punched me in the face, i think they have a crush on me *chuckle*.

dad: "well son, be sure to marry before doing the un-goldly thing, and remember to consult jesus before asking her to marry you"

son: WTF?!?! WHO THE *** SAID IT WAS A SHE FATHER!?!?!?!

dad: i disown you -.- *n00b -.-*
 

Atomicide

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Jul 4, 2003
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"They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program."

Still by far the funniest line in the entire article.