A nice little quest im working on :)

[Richens]

Just wondering if any one thinks this is allright so far? Trying to make a server based purely on quests so...

[@main]
     #SAY
     Ah! Hi there $USERNAME. I noticed you on that\
     bench while I was washing these clothes.\
     I haven’t seen you around here before.\
     What brings you here?\
     
     <I was hoping you could tell me that if you would?/@tellme>\
     <How do you know my name, where I am!?/@dontknow>\
     <Don't speak to me like that I’m a mighty fighter!/@fighter>\
     
     [@tellme]
     Well $USERNAME, you are in The Draken Lands.\
     These cities where formed after an out-rising\
     in Bichon province. Every one decided to venture\ \
     on and explore new lands, temples and dungeons.\
     I was once a high level Taoist, believe it or not.\
     
     <Incredible, I remember Bichon. Tell me more!/@tellmore>\
     <My memory is faint, im going for a walk/@walk>\
     
     [@tellmore]
     Yes you probably heard the names Mongchon,\
     Serpent Valley and Woomyn Woods. There are\
     still people there but we have advanced now,\
     we here in Draken are becoming ever more richer\
     with the discoveries that the great warriors are\
     finding every day!\
     
     <Im still interested tell me more!/@evenmore>\
     <Interesting, where can i get started?/@started>\
     
     [@walk]
     Okay, but watch the Lands of Draken, they may\
     be tougher than what you have experienced before.\
     I hope you feel better!\
     
     <Thank you ma-lady!/@quest1>\
     <Leave me alone you peasant!/@exit>\
     
     [@evenmore]
     You are an intrigued individual, I take it\
     you have heard of CastleGi-Ryoong and\
     PrajnaIsland? Well I can tell you these lands\
     are still there but more mobs have built up due\
     to the lack of people now wondering those lands,\ 
     so be warned!
     
     <Thanks, you've helped me alot!/@quest1>\
     <Jesus Christ, you do go on lady../@exit>\
     
     [@quest1]
     One more thing. As you have been so polite\
     to me, I am going to offer you a very popular\
 weapon that is used a lot in these lands..\
     But you must do me a small favour and take some\
     clothes to my husband who is getting his haircut East\
     of here. Would you like to do this for me?\
     
     <Yes I Will Take The Clothes!/@quest>\
     <No I’ll get lost out there sorry../@exit>\

Any ideas / suggestions?

 

[-=BroKeN=-]

small error i noticed

after [@#######]
b4 the text u need to put #SAY



[@tellmore]
#SAY
Yes you probably heard the names Mongchon,\
Serpent Valley and Woomyn Woods. There are\
still people there but we have advanced now,\
we here in Draken are becoming ever more richer\
with the discoveries that the great warriors are\
finding every day!\


For Example

 

[Toxick]

no you dont, you can just leave it with that... you only do #SAY if u have #IF , #ACT ect infront of it.

I like it, i love the bottem as well were you can have diffrent choice of answering, and you get diffrent answers and parts ect. has a point and click adventure in it :P

 

[DeathWish]

<$USERNAME> instead of $USERNAME


its nice

 

[Detritus]

v nice :jog:

 

[Blaminator]

Very nice

 

[Richens]

Cheers people i will hopefully finish it today and the Husband NPC at the Hair Dressers. Guna work on a few more also which will all go on my little quest server

 

[MentaL]

Your right, little.

Here

 

[Richens]

Thats a v.nice quest mental. Mines more of a story line than a quest come to think about it, i'll post the finished NPC soon